Screen Time

     This is a hot button topic among parents it seems. Some are completely anti-screen time (meaning tablets, TVs, etc) and others seem to rely on it too much (as in their children literally cannot entertain themselves without having the reflection of a screen on their cherubic little faces). I personally find myself in the middle on the road on this debate as I often am with most things.
     I would be lying if I said I never gave Trio screen time because I do. ‘Santa’ got him a tablet for Christmas (only after I gave the green light) so he could have one of his own that was his that he didn’t have to share. Because as important as learning how to share is I also feel that it is important for a child to have a handful of things that they do not have to share with anybody no matter what (but that’s another blog post altogether).
     What gets me though is that all this anti-screen time and protesting against it for kids at all are being shared on Facebook. The irony cannot be lost that the only way to see Facebook and said posts is to be on a screen of some sort. And all the protests against screen time and why it is bad for children holds true for adults. I distinctly remember getting a horrible headache back when we first got a computer because I stared at it all day playing games. True this was like 1990’s box screen monitor but it’s still there. With my job there are days I come home and I have a headache from looking at screens all day. Computer screens, phone screens, tablet screens. It’s enough to make me cranky and crazy so I can only imagine what it does to Trio’s still developing brain.
     And when I think he gets too much I have to be the bad guy.



     This happened about two Fridays ago. I went to pick him up from his Grammy’s and she was like “He’s been angry today” and I was like “My Trio?” and she replied “Yes.” And proceeded to give me a rundown of all he had done. He had yelled, hit his cousin, got upset because he said his aunt scratched him. In short all not normal Trio behavior. And I knew what it was.
     It’s summer. It’s Phineas and Ferb season which means no bed time and pretty much free reign on screen time. During the school I am very strict on that. No screen time during the school week (the caveat to this is if he has homework he can on the computer or if he has a super good day he’ll get 30 minutes), no TV during the school week (especially now that I am on a 5:30pm ending shift), and even on the weekends it’s monitored. Simply because I don’t want a screen zombie.  I don’t want one of those kids that grows up to be one of those adults that needs a TV or a screen of some sort or something to occupy their mind. I want my kid to be able to entertain himself either by reading, writing, or playing with his toys and friends.
     I tried to be nice Mom because it is summer. However I would also be a bad mom if I didn’t get the connection immediately to cranky Trio (because there have been spurts recently) and more screen time and no real bed time.
     This was further solidified by when I went in to talk to him (and I didn’t even have my angry eyes or voice on yet) and he broke down when I asked to explain what had happened that day. And he couldn’t give me a reason. He saw the hitting on a show and I was like well we can’t watch that show anymore now.
     He cried.
     I told him we had to go back to having a bedtime so when Mommy went to go to her bed he had to as well.
     He cried.
     I told him we were going to start strongly limiting his screen time during the week and how much TV he watched.
     He cried.
     This wasn’t one of the pleasant moments of motherhood. I don’t like making him cry and I don’t like taking fun things like that away from him especially in the summer. But Trio’s road is going to be rough not he’s stupid (and if someone calls my kid around me, I will knife them) but because he processes things differently. I am looking into getting him into some kind of Fine Arts Academy (think Fame in Austin) simply because music, dancing, art is what he shines in (and math for some reason) and that is how he learns. There’s nothing wrong with that or him he’s just different. But I am also not going to willing impede or put other roadblocks in front of him by encouraging him to not exercise his brain. We will need to start doing work during the weekends (now that I have real ones on this shift) and at night.
     This is not to say that I won’t let him ever be on a screen or a computer. I’m still working on coding skills and we have to borrow the library to do that, which is where we are now. But it will need to be mostly educational. Reading, learning apps, PBS kids, etc. Just to foster that. And reading more together since that back and forth seems to really work with him best or hearing someone else or him read it out loud.
     And less screen time. Which is something that I also will have to do. Parents have touted the whole “Do as I say and not as I do” mantra for decades but kids do learn by example. And if I am honest enough with myself I will admit that I have a bit of a self reliance on the screen. Not just for work or writing but fun stuff too like games. While I don’t give that up I will monitor and restrict it     along with him.
   



     So here’s the experiment I am going to try. I am going to try not being on the screen as much as well. I’m going to try not mindlessly screen surfing. Games (to me because I am a gamer) are one thing but I’m not going to do as much mindless Facebooking or Pinteresting or scroll just to scroll. When I’m home I’m going to have the same restriction as Trio in the evening with 30 minutes and then when we watch the one movie going to focus all it on that (unless I’m reading a physical book).
I think when Trio actually sees me (since his Dad works nights) not relying so much on the screen it may be easier for him to fall in line. We can play games together, color together, etc. Go outside and play, swim, go for walks, library trips, etc. I am also planning on taking a day off to take him to Symphony Square for the Instrument Petting Zoo (if they still have that) so he can check that out. In short I need to get off my butt and stop being a lazy mom.
     This last year was rough. I won’t go into details as to the why, but I was not at the top of my mom game. And I need to stop. I need to better for him and I need to help him to do better.
I will post on his blog again (along with any other adventures) in about a week to let those who do read this know how it goes. Both for him and me. If nothing else it will be learning experience.
     So wish us luck.

School is almost over and....

Wow. I started this blog post.... I don't even know how long ago. And funnily enough I am right back to where I was when I first started to write it originally. Only this time we are nearing the end of Trio's second grade year. It's hard for me to believe and grasp and accept that my not so little boy is almost a third grader.

It's also hard for me to believe I haven't updated this in so long. That and my personal blog which will probably move more towards a book-ish blog (that is if I don't decide to start writing one of those up anyways). But the chances of that are slim especially considering it has been three years since I updated either one of these. So baby steps.

Anyhoo starting this up again because one of my goals this year both in my personal and professional life was to start writing more. Typing, blogging, little bursts of articles or inspirations whatever have you I will try to start this up along with my own one and see how long it lasts.

But it is hard to catch up on three years of Trio-dom and all his awesomeness in one blog written while on the library WiFi (as I currently am without at home but that is a post for another time and one for mine). So I will bullet it to catch up and then try to go/remember from there.

--Trio is almost in third grade now. Scholastically he is doing well enough his issue is if something doesn't interest him he doesn't care about it (he gets that from me) but rather than power through it he billy goats getting it done so he can do what he wants which ends up taking three times longer (NOT from me). But he is still doing well and I'm proud of how far he has come and how smart he is considering all he has been through. Because when he wants to he picks things up rather quickly.

--He is good at math (thanks Dad). He likes to read but isn't always good at retelling the story back to you. So we are working on that. Part of that likely ties into him not being interested in what he has to read for school so again work in progress.

--Speaking of reading, currently we are into graphic novels/comics. Which I am all about. My dad once told me that is what got him into the classics, when they started making those in that format when he was growing up. Plus reading is reading. So yeah.

--Loves his screen time like most eight year old kids. For Christmas he did get his own tablet and he inherited my Fire (mainly for the books I got him from Amazon). This is heavily monitored though as I have no desire to have a TV/Screen zombie.

--He loves art. He likes to draw and does it. A lot. I need a notebook to keep them all contained since I recently had to go through and purge some (don't judge me!) I do have plans to get a spiral and be go like go forth and draw.

--He also likes music and still learns really well by it. Schoolhouse Rock is about to be our best friend.

--Loves to dance.

--Still has a great smile, personality, and is his awesome Trio-self.

And that is the really condensed rundown. Again I will try to be better about blogging for us both but hopefully you enjoyed this recap and will be back for more! ^_^

Another Day, Another Doctor

*note -- this is more of a both of us blog but since it directly relates to Trio I have posted it here*

Yesterday we went to go see a dermatologist at the request and referral of Trio's pediatrician. She was concerned about the white spots he has all over his body and that it may be vitiligo (or what is most commonly known as "what Michael Jackson had"). It's mainly on the parts of his body that clothes cover with the exception of some around his neck and she just wanted to see if there was a way to head it off. We got and meet with the guy and he is pretty convinced that is what it is. There are ways to hopefully stop it from spreading, so what we are doing now is a topical cream twice a day; it was going to be two but one is hella expensive and he was like “If it is too much you can just use the one” and yeah it's a lot since there is no generic version of it so you have to go with the name brand stuff—and since the doctor said the one would be fine we're going with the one.

He said it would take time so he is going to meet back up with us in six months and we can see how the process is going from there and decide if we can continue that route or have to go with more aggressive forms of treatment. And so now we have another doctor on top of the pediatrician and cardiologist It is as he said, this unlike neurofibromatosis (which they think he has because they think I have it even though I've never been tested) this is a more noticeable thing and it does disfigure. And as we all know kids are cruel so if we can make it to where he doesn't have discolored spots all over his face and gets made fun of. Growing up the way I did I of course don't want him to be bullied nor do I want him to be a bully. I want him to be a nice kid and he is—he is outgoing, friendly, charismatic (most of which he gets from his dad and I was introverted as a kid for the most part) so even if it came to that maybe it wouldn't be a big deal because the kids would already like him.

I'm just so sad for him. I do firmly believe that God (or whatever entity that you pray to and believe in) never gives you more than you can handle. You never really know how strong you have to be until you're in the position and I've had a lot of those and I've managed to make it through almost unscathed. My strength is more inner because I don't want to be one of those people who goes through life broadcasting their battle scars and what they've been through. I mean, if you ask me I will answer honestly, but it's more of a matter of fact manner than anything else. But it just seems that almost every medical anomaly one can get he has. Pyloric stenosis happens in every 4/1000 baby (usually a first born male but still) and he had it. VSD or any heart murmur is more common but what is not is it not eventually growing together or getting smaller as the months progress. His didn't which is why he had open heart surgery at four months to repair it.

Then there was the MRI we had to get done at two years because of the neurofibromatosis which is pretty much a benign genetic disorder that results in cafe au lait spots all over the body (which we both have) and moles (which I have) and there is something that can show up in the eyes. The doctor yesterday mentioned in some cases there can be issues with growths in your face and also gastrointestinal issues (which can sometimes result in needing a colonscopy before the recommended age which is what I need I just have to fight to get it covered on my insurance). The results there were inconclusive but based on what he has it leans towards he does have it. He has bad teeth, which is no biggie as long as we are diligent with his brushing he should be good. And now this. It is frustrating because I feel like the road has already been so hard for him with all the stuff that happened when he was just a baby and now there is concern over this skin disorder.

As my sister said “He's fine – it's not bothering him and it doesn't affect how he is.” And I do believe that since he is so friendly that if it gets to that really visible level he'll have friends who have his back who are like “No he's cool, you're a jerk, don't make fun of my friend or I'll kick your butt!” And while it is a little disheartening to have to be concerned about this it boils down to this (which is one of favorite sayings lately)--”Suck it up buttercup.” So I'm going to put my war face on and I'm going to do what I need to do to combat this and hopefully make it not an issue. Use the power of positive thinking to see the goal and press on because that's what needs to be done. And at the end of the day, with everything that he has been through and may go through, I know that my son, like me, will be a fighter. And that is reassuring to know that he has the mentality for whatever life will throw at him and that he will fight, and knowing my son, it will be with a smile

Five = Change

We had Trio's 5 year check up today. I was expecting what most parents expect at this one -- lots and lots of shots. I've heard the horror stories of the 5 year old shots and it was horrible. I was terrified that it was going to be that way.

As it turns out, he was up to date on his shots. So I worried and panicked for nothing. Go fig. Not that I'm complaining mind you because no one wants their kids to have shots. I was just expecting today to turn out differently which is pretty much going to be my mindset for the next year because that what five is to me.

Five is one of the many game changing year it appears. They head to kindergarten in most cases, memories form etc (most of this you can see on my blog was well). But what is amazing to me is how almost instant this change in Trio was. It is like five came and *bam*! Personality exploded and the normal traits of five year old began including bargaining, talking a lot more, and lots of sassing with a sprinkle of back talk.

Now for the most part Trio is a good kid. He can be a bit of a challenge like any kid and he likes to really test his boundaries with saying "No" to us a lot which is pet peeve of mine. He is also taken to throwing fits when he can't get what he wants right away or you take something from him (example a smart phone he is playing with or my Fire).

Most of this can be chalked up to being tired because as much of a big boy as he is (and thinks he is) if he's tired it shows. If he needs a nap it show especially when you suggest taking a nap and he melts down into this ball of crying and rage that is so grand you think we told him we were dropping him off at an orphanage. When that happens my response is always "Yeah you're totally not helping your case that you do not need a nap right now."

But also part of it is him changing and morphing and having more of a stronger personality. Getting back to the smart phone/Fire convo, it is a bit amazing he can work all of this so well. True most kids can just because this is the techie world that we know live in but he is not evening doing what most kids do with them. There are books he knows are his that he reads on my Fire, games he knows specifically are for him so when he can play for them that is what he goes it.

He also has this new thing I've noticed or heard about where if you ask him something silly or ask him to do something silly he won't. Not only will he not but he will make you feel small/stupid that you asked. Examples are where one time Albert saying a line from Turk from the movie Tarzan asked Trio to go "The fun has arrived!! You say it Trio!!". And from the other room you hear a scoff (I kid you not a scoff) and Trio replied "I'm not saying that."

Then when I was at work there was a story with bath time. Trio has noticed since school that he is a boy. And the only other "boy" around is his Daddy. As such bath, getting dressed, all that jazz he wants Daddy to do. So I hear that one time when Albert was getting his clothes my sister was teasing him about someone else getting him out. She was in the bathroom talking to him asking "Well, can Ya-Ya (her nickname from him) get you out?"

"No, Daddy."

"Can Nica get you out?"

"No, Daddy."

"Can Kendall get you out?" And at this KaCee (my sister) said that he kind of bent his head down in a way that if he wore glasses he would have been peering over the top of them at her and said very matter of factly, "Kendall's not here."

o.0 Mind...blown.

And it's not that he recognized she wasn't there just the inflection that I was told was in his voice that pretty much said "I'm not stupid." And that is what I mean about the personality exploding. Last year he would have giggled about it but now it's very serious. And he does that with a lot of things. He's very independent for the most part and likes to do things for himself to the point where sometimes he will get mad if you do. Not that I mind because as well all know I didn't want a Mama's Boy in the sense that he was tied to my apron strings at 18. It's just...bittersweet to see because it shows me undoubtedly that yes--he is growing up.

And five is the precursor to all this. So I'm getting ready for it because if these random bursts of his personality are any indication the next 13 years will be far from uninteresting.

Trio's 5th

So on Friday we celebrated Trio's 5th birthday and on Sunday we had the party. It is still amazing to think that I have a five year old because as cliched as it sounds, the time really has flown. It seems like just yesterday I gave birth and was holding my baby boy for the first time and through all the trials and tribulations we made it here. And he's not a baby anymore -- he's my big boy (or my little man). *tear*

He had a good birthday. We didn't do a lot because of the party we were having and there was going to be a moon bounce there so I just took mini cupcakes to his school (mini since I remember the mess from being a daycare teacher) and shared it with his class. He enjoyed it true for the cupcakes but also for me being there since I don't always get a chance to go have lunch with him.

Then his party--we ordered a bouncy castle (well rented) and that was just the bee's knees to the kiddos. They stayed in it pretty much all the party and we had to force them out when it got dark not because they were there to get it (since they left it over night and we ended up having it there for almost a day. Only got charged for the four hours though--winning!!) so I count that as a great party all around. Plus to rent it was only about $150 which is much cheaper than going to a bouncing place. So yeah, probably going to do that from now on for our parties. Plus the food was good (thank you HEB deli trays) and everyone had a great time. My little odd man didn't worry about opening his presents during the party so we ended up doing it after everyone left. He still enjoyed everything he got of course: monster trucks, Star Wars helmet and mask, a Transformer truck, the movie Despicable Me, and a new Mobi game (Jack and the Neverland Pirates). All around a great day and a wonderful way to celebrate his 5th.

Happy birthday Trio. We love you very much.

Trio's Better!!

On Tuesday (since Monday was MLK and a holiday) Trio went back to school and stayed all day. He was fever free on Thursday of last week so I sent him on Friday *but* they sent him home because he wasn't acting like himself and he had a wet cough. At the time I was pretty upset because I had just fallen asleep and I didn't want to end up in court for truancy. Ultimately I mean I understand why they did it but I was pretty steamed since I was all "It's seriously only been 15 minutes that he has been at school!" When I picked him up though I did see what they meant. He wasn't himself.

But now he seems to be adjusting again which is great. I mean I am over the moon that my soon is better and no longer has a fever because it was scary. This is the longest since year one that he has been sick and also pretty much the first time and I was like Okay what do we do? It gets stuck in this cycle of:

he has a fever--give him medicine--but now he's not fever free without medicine so he can't go to school tomorrow--feeling better in the middle of the day looking good--fever again at night that requires medicine--CRAP!!

So when he was fine with no fever but a wet cough on Friday I just gave him Wal-green's grand Mucinex (because I honestly see no difference between Wal-Green's brand and the high price stuff aside from one is not going to hurt me in the pocket book as much) and he has been right as rain since. Which makes me very happy. ^_^ Especially since his birthday is around the corner and who wants to be sick on their birthday? NO ONE!!

And on that note I will certainly post again about that because it is an imporant one...he's turning 5!!! o.0

Trio's Got the Fever!!

Almost a week later and Trio is still kind of sick. And by kind of I mean that his fever is still coming and going, he is coughing, and is home again for the second day in a row.

This sucks.

Not so much because he's home because I love my time with my boy. It's just I can't get this fever to go away and it is this vicious cycle because he can't go to school until he is fever free for 24 hours. But he can't get fever free without medicine especially when it reaches the "magic" number of 100.1 and since I don't want his brains to bake I have to give him the good stuff. So he may be out for a full week. Which means I have to call the school to make sure this whole abscence counts as one so I don't get truancy put on me and sent to court. :/

Such a horrible, horrible cycle. :(

The good news is it is not that flu. (Which, by the way can I interject, the way they check for flu SUCKS!!?? A big ol' cotton swab up both nostrils are you serious? I would much prefer blood being drawn that is one and done. Not sticking up one side and while he is grabbling with that sticking it up the other one. I was thinking that would make *me* want to punch someone I can only imagine what Trio felt like when his nurse did that.) Anyways it is just a good old fashioned cold and cough. So yay...I guess. I mentioned on my Facebook it is the dingy grey lining because it sure as hell ain't silver.

Otherthan that his attitude is still the same when he's not laying down because his fever is hitting him. In fact I have to get him to lay down so he can get better sooner. We shall see how this plays out. Until next time stay healthy and don't forget to wash your hands!!!