Saturday, November 28, 2009

"Helicopter" Parents

I am not one of these parents obviously. I mean you've read about Trio getting into scrapes left and right. I dislike parents like this a little. I mean I don't let him do anything outright dangerous like play with matches or run with scissors but when it comes to climbing and stuff like that *shrugs* He's a boy. What are you going to do? You have to let kids be kids because that way they learn about what they can and cannot do physically. If you hover over them they will never experiment and realize their threshold of activity. This helps them learn pain threshold, not to mention something of fear. For example if the tries jumping off a swing (which I never had the guts to do) he might like it. Or he might realize he doesn't like heights and never do it again. Of course there is the risk of him spraining something but didn't someone say it's pretty much a common occurrence to have broken bones in childhood?

I look at it this way; if I don't let him play or climb because I'm worried about him getting hurt he is giong to develop an unnatural sense of fear which results in annoying things like your 12 year old falling and scraping his knee and having a total meltdown because of the pain. Really? Sorry but man up get over it, it happens. And don't think this attitude is just for boys oh no. If I have a little girl there is no way she can have a princess complex her entire life. I'm not saying I want a tomboy but I am not a girly girl so I can't support this behavior for long. If my little girl was ever like "Ew I got dirty" and she was like 8 I'd say "Get over it. It happens."

Sound harsh? I respect that. Don't get me wrong I'm maternal and I'm nurturing and if something happens to Trio that really honestly hurts him I give him all the snuggles and kisses he needs. But I don't want a child who's so sensitive they have no idea how to deal with the world. I don't want a bully but I want my child to be assertive enough to not get pushed around. What's truly ironic about this is I'm not all that aggressive despite what you may think. In order to say something firmly I have be pushed and then it comes out more angry then necessary and then I offended someone. I don't mean to but I do. Of course there are some people who are so oversensitive that they take EVERYTHING as criticism and there's nothing you can do but let it go and know that they had helicopter parents themselves.

Trio is my world and I love him so much. However I also love him enough to know there are things he needs to learn on his own and when he falls and scraps his knee I know I have fostered his independence enough that he will be okay unless there is bone sticking out. Kids are gonna get hurt and dirty that's part of the joy of being a kid.

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